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About Varied / Hobbyist natalieFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 1 Year
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Newest Deviations

I Wish
I wish I hadn't told you
I wish you didn't know
I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, like I am crazy
I wish you could understand
I wish you could see it like I do
I wish you wouldn't pity me
I wish I could just be normal
I wish I wasn't affected by it
I wish I could control it
I wish I hadn't promised
I wish I could let go
I wish you would accept it
I wish you could get that it's not going away
I wish I hadn't told you in the first place...
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 0 0
Sudden bravery
 mocking eyes
 sneering smiles
dread begins
head down
arms folded
swift feet
 cruel jokes
 taunting laughs
head pounding
blood rushing
face heating
hands curling
emotions swirling
shoulders hunching
 sudden shove
tripping feet
hands outstretched
heavy landing
anger and shame
 laughing and pointing
determination floods
shaky legs
trembling arms
standing upright
eyes locked
 sharp and mocking
arm shot out
fist connecting
 shocked faces
 unbelieving eyes
 gaping mouths
 sharp CRACK
 blood gushing
 arms flailing
 deathly quiet
 loud THUD
 staring eyes
 ashen faces
happy cheering
victorious smiles
sudden bravery
appealing feeling
arm held high
fingers still curled
one against one
one winner
one underdog
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 0 0
Those Feelings
You know that feeling when you see them
When you see their smile and, for unknown reasons, you smile too
When you see them talking to someone else and you get a sinking feeling
When you hear them compliment someone and the next day, you pay extra attention to that thing
You know that feeling of being scared of being too clingy, too needy
You know that time when they relate to you and you are happy the rest of the day
When you make them laugh, and you get that amazing feeling in your heart
When you don't know where they are and you wonder if they are okay
When you wonder if they think of you as much as you think of them
When you fall asleep and wake up thinking of them
You know that feeling of hope when they hug you
That, maybe they might be afraid of scaring you off
That they dream of you every night too
That they are just afraid of your reaction if they told you
But, then
You know that feeling when they ignore you for days
Or when you made them upset
Or that you are the reason they ar
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 1 0
Crimson red
Plum purple
Ocean blue
Grass green
Inky Black
These are the colors I've grown to know
Colors I've grown to love and hate
Red blotches
Purple circles
Blue dots
Green coverings
Black scrawls
These mix in the most beautiful way
A deadly picture that I've come to love
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 0 0
I feel my emotions rise against me
They break past my barricades
My weak defense does nothing to slow them
They open fire on my mind
The relentless pounding
The never-ceasing battle
The emotions have captured my mind
I am helpless to call out
They hold my mind hostage
They continue on to my heart
They nearly win
But my heart is castle strong
It may have gates, but not to intruders
As the tides slowly turn
The casualties are many
The emotions give one last final push
They have made a plethora a cracks
But they are driven back
Locked up in their unforgiving jail
My mind is freed
I silently scream as balance is restored
I put up frantic defenses that never last
I guard against an attack
One I know will soon come again
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 0 0
I've gone through it all
But I seem to have hit a wall
A tall, strong, impenetrable wall
"Someone help", there is scrawled
The pain I've gone though haunts
It's always there, it taunts
It knows it's won
But I'm not yet done
It crawls along, hidden
It lays in wait, it can listen
It pounces at the worst moment
It makes everything a horrible punishment
It gets trapped inside my head
I just wish I was dead
It gets stronger all the time
It's just another lie; "I'm fine"
the pain echoes
I seem to make up new innuendos
The voices echo
My vision narrows
All I am aware of is the pain
It is such a tremendous strain
I wish I could voice it
But that is just a myth
Echoes get louder
The pain is my only tower
Little hills dot the way
But they have little sway
I wish I could get rid of it
I wish the echoes would quit
I hope I haven't been unrepairably broken
I hope I haven't left too much unspoken
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 1 0
The Happy Things
Kittens and birthday parties
Family and fun
These are good, happy things
So THEY can make the sadness go away
Let me think of more
sleeping in, balloons and cake
But, all good things come to and end
Kittens scratch and grow up
Birthday parties only come once a year
Family dies and
Fun eventually ends
Sleeping in can make you late
Balloons pop and
Cake gets eaten
Sadly, these things don't make me happy
Ironically, they remind me that I'M NOT HAPPY
Two wrongs don't make a right but
Two negatives multiplied make a positive
I must multiple the negatives to the point when they are positive
not flood myself with happy things
Sorry, but it takes a thief to catch a thief
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 1 3
See or Look
See, I have no cuts
See, I smile
See, I laugh and joke
See, I get good grades
See, I have friends
You see, but you don't look
Look at my hips and see bruises
Look at my eyes and find no happiness
Look at my mask and see the cracks
Look at my hobbies and only see depression
Look at me and see, how even around people, I'm alone
Don't always look at the surface
Show them you care
Or you just might be another person who doesn't care
Show them you want to hear
For so many have run at any difference
Show them you'll stay
For so many have come and gone
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 2 7
Light vs. Dark
Light streams down
Little broken rays
Darkness holds supreme
There's no fighting it
That's not true
At least, not completely
You can fight it
You just can't always win
Light streams down
Little broken rays
Upon a desolate figure
Hiding from the monsters
Monsters you can't hide from
Monsters you can't see
Monsters that can kill
Monsters that never leave
Light streams down
Little broken rays
Trying to banish the darkness
Trying to banish the monsters
Light doesn't always win
Dark doesn't always lose
Light gives strength
Dark gives despair
Light streams down
Little broken rays
Darkness holds supreme
There's no fighting it
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 1 0
Who Cares
How is it no one knows
It all just goes to show
As more and more sink
As I tremble on the brink
Does no one care
Or does no one dare
I seem to be forgotten
In an everlasting garden
One of great peril
The work of the devil
Does no one care
Or does no one dare
Giving in to temptation
It just spreads the infection
No one should have to deal with this
Even though at times it feels like bliss
Does no one care
Or does no one dare
Constant battling
Constant strangling
Constant gambling
Constant unraveling
Does no one care
Or does no one dare
As I sink into the black
And my mouth goes slack
I hope they will pay
For what they say
Does no one care
Or does no one dare
Sudden bright white light
And I realize I must fight
To stay and help others
In their increasing numbers
Does no one care
Or does no one dare
Clawing back to reality
Even if its not carefree
To fight another day
And help those who stray
Does no one care
Or does no one dare
Constant words
Constant hurts
Constant alerts
Constant nerds
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 1 0
Random Thing I Made Up
It was a sunny day and no clouds could be seen.
Because of a light wind, trees swayed and leaves spun.
I loved wonderful sunny days, I loved the way the grass felt, but shadows cast themselves.
The sun sank low.
Creatures prowled and fought, and a very different feeling came, one of despair.
Moonlight casts little light, especially through clouds.
Do not lose yourself to the darkness, for day will soon come again.
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 1 0
(Another) Panic Attack Poem
Anger grips me tight
I fly out of the room,
desperate not to be seen
I close the door as tears run down my face
my heart is beating out of control
I fear it will beat out of my chest
I grip the counter, trying to get some control
I feel the urge to run, anywhere but here
spasms jerk through me as I stare
I stare at the contorted face I see in the mirror
how can that be me?
eyes and nose all red
red streaks running down my face
tears leave burning tracks
I silently scream as I jerk
I twist my arms a I struggle
I want to break everything
I feel the urge to do something
anything to get rid of the pain
my thoughts run
my heart tries to keep pace
I feel as if I'm in danger, but there is nothing
nothing but my own thoughts
and that's more dangerous than anything
I feel like I'm trapped
I'm trapped and need to get free
as the spasms slowly fade
I'm left staring at myself
wondering why this happens to me
my eyes fade to pink and then to white
I try to calm down and breath
I'm shaking,
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 1 0
The Beast Within
I become a wild animal
my mind races
like a frightened rabbit
my heart pumps
like a chasing fox
my eyes dart
like a cornered cat
my legs tremble
like a newborn colt
my arms shake
like a convulsing snake
my fingers clench
like a dog's jaws
my eyes turn red
like an angry mongoose
my breath hiccups
like a drowning mouse
The animal slowly fades
my breathing eventually clams
my eyes slowly turn white
my fingers unclench
my arms still
my legs stop trembling
my eyes focus
my heart beat decreases
my mind comes to a stop
I become a human
I look in the mirror and lower my head
the beast comes roaring out sometimes
I cant stop it
if I try it rips me to shreds
it happens more and more
each time it gets worse
I can only grapple with the beast
I cant control or direct it
I am abnormal, a freak
I am half beast, half human
:icondragonlover11555:dragonlover11555 1 0


Blood Ties
Crimson's blood staining an antiquities rug so fine,
gleaming there so wickedly in a moonlight's shine.
Witnessing this ghastly scene beyond all measure,
as one intruding on an aftermath of such displeasure.
Legacies of fortunes and silvers, and golden ways,
are worth much more than an innocent life these days.
Done to death in materials luxury of darkness told,
bearing what only a nameless night, dares to bold.
For a crime so steeped in the hideous and obscene,
as the who, and the how, still remains to be seen.
Killing in such a way, bringing the reaper to shame,
as blood is the price for this morbidly vicious game.
So far gone that not even a medicine could heed.
But to what end does this act truly mean to need?
An heiress to treasurers and a manor of bitter pain,
murdered for what others hope to ultimately gain.
And as I lay there dead upon the ground soundlessly,
my corpse speaks for what no one else can for me.
As a life was extinguished on this blackest night,
Who is really to bl
:icondarklover33:DarkLover33 4 0
Queen of the Night
Behold, the splendid, cosmic pantheon,
as auras shimmering in midnight's dawn.
For an olden moon told, in ancient scripts,
a festivity of stars, for the highest eclipse.
A marveling, nightly beauty do I define,
evening glory of golden days you consign.
Lulling a mind to wonder in her vivid sleep,
astounding us with secrets for heavens keep.
The master of celestial cycles, so early seen,
with the appearance of a great nocturnal queen.
:icondarklover33:DarkLover33 4 0
Crystal Dragons by sandara Crystal Dragons :iconsandara:sandara 8,070 393 Ikati by sandara Ikati :iconsandara:sandara 9,923 222 Blue Dragon by sandara Blue Dragon :iconsandara:sandara 31,326 1,369 Red dragon by sandara Red dragon :iconsandara:sandara 22,969 655
Dejected Anniversary
The happiest day, marred by crystal glass,
amid the laughter, this sadness wont pass.
Layers hanging still, like an eternal frost,
as shadows lurking for those moments lost.
Greys sweeping in from a transfixed mind,
overcasting eyes in a haze, so long resigned.
:icondarklover33:DarkLover33 1 0
Growing Up
Sometimes I don't know what to do,
the world spins on and on,
somewhere along all that spinning I fell out of sync with the rest of the world.
And once again I'm lost,
I want to dream of a better place for the little ones to grow up,
my father told me that it's good to have dreams and be able to keep them alive,
but the world is cruel.
The little ones grow up twisted,
those dreams live in our hearts and our heads,
but there will always come a day where we have to grow up,
and put away those childhood fairytales.
Love, it's time to face the music,
this is reality.
:iconinfobroker-chan:InfoBroker-chan 3 5
I'll take all my
Anger, sadness, joy, appreciation, observation
The metaphysical, the ethereal
And put it onto here.
Write black ribbons onto white paper
And unravel the sphere
Of flowing thoughts and clashing voices
The crashing of waves and the foam of the sea.
I think poetry in the shower
Poetry in my sleep
Poetry before and after I make a leap
I think poetry when I watch people dying
And when I hear children sighing
Poetry when I watch a machine
All in those monochrome films in history.
Though I feel it, I still don't know the words
Forming in my mouth but not coming out
Like tears that haven't been formed
They exist mentally, but pyschically it has no form.
And so
I'll take this
And place it onto here
And if you stay very silent
You can hear the moving of gears
The heavenly spheres being the spark of electricity
Moving me, driving me into the ground
The silence resound.
And I'll take this
Emotion- this devastation, this reverberation
All that makes a human free
By liberati
:iconcorpusvile:corpusvile 77 36
No poetry
No poetry was written,
No fairytales were read.
As if it was forbidden,
By the monsters in her head.
And all they thought was silly,
Was quickly thrown away.
By a girl who had to grow up,
By a girl who couldn't play.
All her dreams and fantasies,
All her fears and hopes.
Thrown in a bag of garbage,
Balloons and skipping ropes.
The teddybears and puzzles,
All had to retreat.
For new puzzles in her head,
She never would complete.
No poetry was written,
No fairytales were told.
Her eyes spoke of a sad tale,
Her hands were always cold.
She thought of no white horses,
For she was no princess.
Her life was about papers,
And secret loneliness
All her dreams and fantasies,
Would never come true now.
For she had forsaken them,
Without knowing how.
Remember how happy she was.
She doesn't even know.
The little girl she used to be,
Was forgotten long ago.
:iconeowyntje:eowyntje 486 241
Undead Wolf by Lucky978 Undead Wolf :iconlucky978:Lucky978 1,826 129
The Wolf
Eternal guardian of the forest
Whose pale eyes glow from the shadows
Running with the wind, fluid and sleek
Your fangs alone make the law
With the stars reflecting off your coat
Of burnished silver fire
Your ears are alert and forward
As a howl echos in the distance
Standing alone, watching through the night
As the moon travels the path of the sky
Unknown, unseen, but forever needed
Wolf...protector of the forest
Protect the weak, join the strong
Pass the birthright to your young of the forest
May you always remain eternal
:iconravencloud:RavenCloud 775 130
A Wolf's Tear Poem by 8TwilightAngel8 A Wolf's Tear Poem :icon8twilightangel8:8TwilightAngel8 42 41
Elemental Wolf
I am the stellar wolf.
With eyes of amber,
Which hold fallen stars,
And that reflect the moon's glow.
I am the Inferno wolf.
With my fiery heart,
That burns for a mate.
And the passion to run free.
I am the Aquatic wolf.
With my liquid movements,
That help calm my pack,
In times of confusion and pain.
I am the Wooded wolf.
With my pine needle fur,
That stands on end in fury,
When danger threatens my pack.
I am the Aero wolf.
With my bone chilling growls,
And my light hearted howls,
That reach even the heavens in the sky.
I am the Earthen wolf.
With my sand paper paws,
That help me grip,
And rip into the earth when I run.
I am the Elemental wolf.
Though I may seem strange,
With all my forms,
I am actually one.
With one heart,
One soul,
One desire,
I am the wolf.
:iconblackwolfds:BlackWolfDS 151 69
the pass by sandara the pass :iconsandara:sandara 10,587 487 winter by sandara winter :iconsandara:sandara 14,410 717


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GUYS IM SCARED! DO NOT READ GHOST STORIES, EVEN IN THE DAY TIME!! AHHHHHHHH SUCH A BAD IDEA. (and yes I am going to go back to reading ghost stories) My piano has a part that sticks up and I keep seeing a figure in it but its always out of the corner of my eye and I don't know it is just the light or something but I'm getting really freaked out!!!


Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States


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theawkwardphangirl Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
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theawkwardphangirl Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
InfoBroker-chan Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)

1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 10 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!
Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I am 1.
If You Get 1 Back You Are Loved

Because some people are simply awesome
dragonlover11555 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)

1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 10 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!
Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I am 1.
If You Get 1 Back You Are Loved

Because some people are simply awesome
theawkwardphangirl Featured By Owner May 25, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Fuck you bye 
theawkwardphangirl Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the watch brotato
dragonlover11555 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome
theawkwardphangirl Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Markiplier Dog (F2U) 
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